Insanity Incorporated

[Jakazul]

The man had just robbed a gas station... Fifty bucks and it came to this!
The two stood atop the bridge of an oil infirmary, the hostage, a fifteen year old girl, crying as the crook held a knife to her throat.

Criminal: Alright...Take another step and she dies!
Archer: Wait... Don't do anything stupid...
Criminal: TRY AND STOP ME!
Archer: You want to do something stupid?
Criminal: STOP SCREWING WITH ME!
Jake: He's not. I really don't think he'd enjoy that.
Criminal*spinning around*: What do you want?
Jake: Well duh, here to save the girl!
Archer: That's my job!
Chris *jumping to bridge in nothing but loin cloth*: No! It's mine!
Jake: Oh my... Get him outta here!
Archer: How?
Jake *to criminal*: Hey... You must be getting sick of the girl, wanna trade hostag...
Archer: JAKE!
Jake: Oh fine...
Chris: Ok! Hand over the hot girl!
Jake: *slaps forehead*
Criminal: WILL EVERYBODY SHUT UP!?! *pulling out gun*
Jake: He's got a gun, what's with the knife?
Archer: It's cliche`.
Jake: Yeah, but...
Criminal: SHUT UP! *fires*
Jake: Wait... Don't shoot this is an oil infirma...AHHH!
*Building begins to explode*
Chris: Ok... Bye now! *dives from bridge*
Jake: Uh Arch...
Archer *irritated*: Don't even talk to me... *jumps at criminal*
Jake: Well...what crawled up your bu... *bridge begins to collapse*
Criminal *letting go of girl*: Oil's flammable?
Archer: *grabs girl and falls through bridge using jacket as parachute*
Jake: That's a cool trick. *grabs criminal and jumps*
Criminal: Why are you saving me?
Jake: Whole 'vigilante-crimefighter' thing...you wouldn't get it.
Criminal: GET OFF ME!
Jake: Oh believe me, I don't wanna be this close any more than...whoah!
Criminal: What?
Jake: Bye.
Criminal: Wha...?AHHHH!!!!
*Criminal hits explosion as Jake lets go and flips out of way, gliding on coat and catching onto Archer's coat*
Jake: Mind if I drop in?
Archer: *Rolls eyes*
*Archer, Jake & girl land safely as infirmary explodes*
Jake: Like we didn't see that coming.
Chris *landing behind them, loincloth burned away* Could've helped me!
Everyone: *Stares at Chris sickened, Archer lets girl hide her face in his coat*
Chris: What? It's all me.
Jake: *tosses Chris his coat* Put this on and go burn it when you're dressed...Preferably with you still in it.
Archer: Jake...
Jake: *looks innocent* Just kidding.
Archer: Yeah right.
Jake*muttering*: Yeah right.
Marx *running up*: The fire! So beautiful...Wish I had my camera.
Falcon: Alright! Everybody clear away! *walking up and pushing people away* DEO coming through.
Jake: We're the ones who saved her!
Chris: YEAH!
Jake: Well...Me and Archer anyway.
Chris: HEY!
Falcon: Eeeeew! Give him some clothes!
Jake: I tried!
Shinobi*walking up with arm around Falcon's shoulder*: I'll save you.
Jake: *looking at Shinobi's arm* Uh...Shino...
POW!
*Falcon punches Shinobi in face*
Archer: Ok... Can we get to the point here? This girl needs to get to the hospital!

[Jakazul]

Falcon: Alright Archer, we'll get her to the hospital as soon as...
*huge A.P.E.S vans begin to drive up*
Falcon: Gah...What are thay doing here?
Jake: My ride has arrived.
Matt *stepping from van*: Good job Agent J, I see you've succeded again.
Jake: *smiles and smooths hair out of face*
Archer: Hey! I'm the one who...
Marx: Wow! *running at Matt and looking at guns* I'll take nine flamethrowers...two or three of these little babies...oooh...Does that kill three people at the same time? I WANT ONE!
Matt: Get away from...
Marx: INFADEL! I'll send my armies of gorrillas after...
Jake: Gorrillas, APES, all we need is a few bannanas and we can go on a road trip.
Robyn, Deeds and ZZ *running*: ROAD TRIP!
Jake: WAIT! I didn't mean...
Falcon: We're going on a road trip? Great! Is the hostage coming?
Archer: She's not a hostage! I rescued...
Falcon: Yeah, yeah, yeah, is she coming or not?
Marx: Can I bring pizza?
Archer: Wait, but...
Shinobi: Hey, I'll take her... *gets up and lets girl cry into shirt*
Jake: Closest a girl's been to you in months?
Shinobi: Ye...I mean...No...
Girl: *looks up*
Shinobi: I mean sure!
Girl: *smiles then returns to crying*
Chris: Hey baby, how you doin'? Wanna come cry in my shirt?
Jake: You don't have one.
Chris: And the bad part of this situation is...
Alan: Bring on the superchicks!
Archer: Supergirl?
Robyn: *looks hurt*
Archer:... Never mind.

[Jakazul]

Deeds: SO are we going?
Robyn: ROAD TRIP!
Archer: WOuld you all hush!?! THis girl needs...
Falcon: But...
Matt: What do you mean bannanas?
Marx: Infadel!
Matt: What'd you say?
Marx: INFADEL!
Matt: Listen, I'm many things... *thinks* I'm a whoooole lot of things, but...
Jake: Can we just...
Chris: Look at me! I'm FREEEEEEEEEEEE! *swinging off APES vans butt naked.
Jake: GIVE HIM SOME CLOTHES!
Shinobi *to girl*: Hey, wanna go back to my place and...
Archer: SHINOBI!
Shinobi: What?
Fab: Oops, he did it again.
Matt and Jake: *Looking at Fab with eyebrow raised*
Fab: What? She was hot!
Jake: Why? Cause you were in hell?
Fab: It wasn't that ba... *looks at people staring* er... Exactly.
Archer: HELLO!?! The girl needs help!
Shinobi: Yeah... I'm trying to help her, I know something that'll cheer her up...
Robyn:
Chris *singing*: THWACK'EM ALL! THWACK'EM ALL!
Robyn: Oh...Eeeeeeeew.
Jake: END THE INSANITY!
Marx: EMBRACE THE INSANITY!
Matt: LEPRECHAUN!
Chris: Where?
Archer: Wait...!

[Jakazul]

*Chris, Matt and Marx followed by Deeds, ZZ and Robyn race off*
Jake: That was different.
Falcon: Ok... Well, I'll go get the rest of the DEO then...
Jake: Isn't that Lani's job?
Falcon: Yes, but... Lani's gone missing.
Archer: *looks up* What?
Shinobi: *looking up* What?
Girl: *sob*
Falcon: We can't find her, she left a note, but...
Jake: And you didn't tell us this why again?
Fab: Is it a big deal? She'll be back.
Shinobi: Oh. *returns to making passes at girl*
Girl: *sobs louder*
Jake: Atleast she has some taste.
Archer: *points at Shinobi and raises eyebrows*
Jake: Ok, maybe not...
Falcon: Men...
Jake: Wha...What'd I do? It's Shinobi and Fab!
Fab: Wait! Why me?
Jake: Well it's not Archer and I'd never blame myself...
Fab: Why not just Shinobi?
Jake: Becuase... I dunno! Have you ever felt like your mind is green jello?
Archer: Why green?
Jake: Exactly.
Archer, Fab and Falcon: Huh?
Shinobi *to girl*: So your name's Beth?
Girl: *nods*
Shinobi: Can I call you Beth?
Beth: *Nods*
Shinobi: Ok, what time?

[Robyn]

Mwahahahaha! *snort* HAHHA! That's good...no idea what's going on, but it's funny! And you've captured each member so perfectly. ^_^ *LOL*

[X]

Of course, I notice he hasn't tried ME next. That's probably because there's no telling what I'll be like one day to the next.

(Would you all believe I was almost kicked off another board because I kept accidentally or purposely insulting and/or angering the other members? It culminated in me writing a really nasty post that I deleted about a week later. I told them to decide my fate, and it turned out that my public apology to everyone on the board and my private apologies to the admin's were enough to get them to decide against expelling me. Now I'm one of the principal regular members on that board, with the second highest number of posts of anyone else on the board, inc. administators and moderators.)

[Jakazul]

I'd believe it... You have no clue what happened when Chris joined... *shivers* and now he's one of the most active members...course we insulted him not vise versa, but... Ya know what? Forget it.
LOL, glad you like it Robyn.

[The Chris]

>>> Don't even deny it. You know you all love "The Chris"!! <<<

[Ezri99]

;DI have to admit,This site would never be the same without The Chris!Yeah Chris we love having you around!

[The Chris]

>>> Aww, thank-you Archer!! That's so nice of ya to say!....... I have something in my eye <<<

[Jakazul]

Archer: *takes Beth's arm* Come on, you need to go to the hospital...
Beth: Wait...one second... *digging in pocket*
Shinobi: Yeah, she has a present for me.
Beth: *nods, finds what she's looking for*
Jake: Come on! I thought she might be the first one besides me that's got a little bit of taste.
Falcon & Archer: *glaring at Jake*
Jake: Just kidding...
Beth: Here. *Pulls out pepper spray*
Shinobi: What's tha...
Beth: *Sprays Shinobi in eyes*
Shinobie: AHhhhhhHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhHHhh!!!!
Jake: She does have taste!
Falcon: *laughing as Shinobi runs in circles*
Matt: THERE! IT'S THE LEPRECHAUN!!!
Matt, Chris, Marx and Alan: *Dive on Shinobi*
Marx: *holding flamethrower* PARTY TIME!
Chris*In Steve Irwin voice*: *with net around Shinobi's neck* It's a big'n!
Matt: GOLD! I WANT GOOOOOOLD! *jumping on Shinobi's back*
Archer: You think we should tell them?
Jake: Nope.
Falcon: Definitely not.

[Jakazul]

X: *walking up from DEO vehicle* What's going on?
Jake: Um...They think Shinobi's a leprechaun.
X: Shinobi...Leprechaun...hmm...
Falcon: What?
Archer & Beth: *edge away to go to hospital*
X: i've got an idea...
Jake: Uh oh...
Falcon: Look who's talking.
Jake: Hey!
X *typing quickly, printer begins to print first issue of "Shinobi~ An injured leprechaun against the world*
Fab: Cool! that should go at Earth Prime.
X: It's for Superbob Creative...
Fab: But Earth Prime...
X & Fab: *fighting*
Jake: *shrugs* *walks to Shinobi and pulls him away from others* Hey... Falcon wants to talk with you.
Shinobi: Really?
Jake: Yeah *muttering* right.
Shinobi: *runs towards Falcon*
Matt: THE LEPRECHAUN'S GETTING AWAY!
Marx: *lets go of trigger on flame thrower* Then who am I flaming?
Chris & Alan *covered in ashes and first degree burns*: *moan*
Marx: Oops...I'll get my werewolves to clean you up.
Alan: I thought they weren't trained...
Werewolves: *attacking Alan*
Marx: They're not...Is that a problem?
Alan: *with werewolves piled on top of him* Mph...
Marx: I didn't think so.
Chris: *holds hand out to Alan*
Alan: Where...mph...hs that been...
Chris: Somewhere friendly...
Falcon: Eeeeeeeeeew!
Chris: What?
Alan: *still being attacked*
Shinobi: I'll save you Falcon!
Falcon: GET AWAY FROM ME YOU PERV'!
Shinobi: HEY!
Jake: *Smiling evily*

[Jakazul]

Matt: *jumps on Shinobi just before he can run into Falcon's chest* ALRIGHT I'VE GOT THE LEPRECHAUN! HELP ME HOLD HIM DOWN!
Shinobi: *kicks Matt in the back*
Chris: I didn't know leprechauns could do karate.
Jake & Falcon: Taekwondo's better!
Marx: FLAME THE LEPRECHAUN! *fires flamethrower at Shinobi*
Shinobi: AHHH! *rolls away from fire*
Matt: WHOA! *falls off Shinobi*
Chris: LEPRECHAUN!
Marx: GET IT!
Alan: Were...wolves... *kicks a werewolf*
Marx: You want more of them?
Jake: Of course he does. *evil grin*
Alan:what...'d I...ever do...to you...?
Jake: Nothin'

[Shinobi]

you got the player down well and taekwondo and karate are good but JIU-JITSU AND AIKIDO DEFEAT THEM BOTH! MWAHAHAHAHAHA

[Jakazul]

I AM NOW OPENING THIS STORY TO ANYONE.
As long as it follows the subject to some extent and the format, go ahead and add to it.